I had quite an interesting conversation earlier with my lover, Iris. We were then merely listening to a couple of new songs I've downloaded when she suddenly asked me a question I never expected to come my way at a time like that. I have to say I was caught off-guard being that it was completely out of the blue, besides the fact that it was past 3 o'clock in the morning already. I really cannot remember anymore what were were talking about before that, and I don't think it would bear any significance after what transpired.
She asked me what my opinion was towards religion, or more specifically where I stand from a religious perspective. She was asking me to label myself based on what I practice. For all intents and purposes, I am technically a Roman Catholic. I was born into a devoted Catholic Family, and I have been educated in one of the finest Catholic schools in this country. I was raised to be a Catholic, which I am truly thankful for since I've learned mostly who I am through it.
Technicalities and formalities aside I can honestly say that I am a Christian, although I do not conform into the norms of what I "apparently" should be. I do believe in God, The Holy Trinity, Heaven and Hell, and all the things that any ordinary Christian would believe in. The difference is that my actions, intentions, and purpose in life are in no way inspired by my faith. I act according to my own conscience, although it is not the type rooted in faith either. My conscience is built on education(hence the reason for my gratitude towards my upbringing). I have a firm grasp towards the concept of right and wrong, fairness and equality.
If I may be defiant, I utterly dislike, almost to the point of hate, the thought of developing faith through fear as most Christian children are molded to think: "if you are bad, you're bound to go to hell" or "you will be punished if you do not obey the commandments". While both statements could be truthful, it creates faith born out of condition rather than love. In turn, it is though as if one should act within the bounds of religion to impress God, not because it is what's right. If God is just, then he would love me for who I am being as just. I believe God would give me salvation not because I devoted my life to Him, but because I believe in what He believes in.
As the conversation came to a close Iris asked me if I know the difference between belief and faith. I answered: "if there is a difference between the two it is that 'belief' is one's knowledge of one thing, while 'faith' is the conviction to rest one's entire existence upon that belief". She then turned to ask if I have faith, which I answered: "I know what having faith means."
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